Shattered

Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding

Fall into your sunlight

The future's open wide, beyond believing

To know why, hope dies

Losing what was found, a world so hollow

Suspended in a compromise

The silence of this sound, is soon to follow

Somehow, sundown

And finding answers

Is forgetting all of the questions we called home

Passing the graves of the unknown

As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading

Illusions of the sunlight

And a reflection of a lie, will keep me waiting

With love gone, for so long

And this day's ending

Is the proof of time killing, all the faith I know

Knowing that faith, is all I hold

And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand

Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love

Without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on

But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning

Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart

Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent

All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain

All is lost, hope remains, and this war's not over

There's a light, there's the sun, taking all shattered ones

To the place we belong, and his love will conquer all

Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding

Fall into your sunlight

How could one feel so sorry but kept on making the same mistakes over and over again?

Yes I miss you, my annoying peanut. It felt so good talking to you again. :)

Eeeeeeeeek-cited

Hi.
I have basically so much good news (of myself to myself) lol. But since I need to EHM 'study', I'm just going to make this quick and short.

Um finals is in a week. I haven't prepared for anything yet plusssss I kinda suck at everything and plusssssss my usual private tutor is not talking to me (that really sucks, like sooooooo much) and I don't think I could get everything done in time so I started studying early. Um but the very very good news is that after hours and days of persuading my dad *drum rolls pleaseeeee* FINALLYYYYY I'm going to Brastagi. After finals. With my friends (anakeksisbaikhati ftw yay). For a three-day-two-night trip. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYERS! I'm already soooo excited. Imagine the car ride, the selfies in the car ride, the barbeque, the roller coastersssss!! Too bad Aboeng (re: Lydia) is not coming with us. :( But she's going to Shanghai (and I want to go there toooo but my mom said no ugh). So I guess that's all. Hehehe. Okay then. I'm going to 'study'. Bye.
x

Lost In Stereo

Hi again. It's been a while.

#np: All Time Low's - my all time favorite
So my life has gone from drama-like to surprisingly dull this last few weeks. I'm glad. And ok maybe it's been a little bit too mundane for me. I don't do mundane. I do crazy. HA! Anyways, prom is in 2 weeks! Do you think I could handle another two boring weeks?

ps. I think I type a better post when I'm angry. :P
xx

And she says I'm a hypocrite

Wise words to think about: if you love and enjoy it, don't even try to give a damn about what others might say about it. Once you even think about giving a damn, it's gonna crush you like a giant wrecking ball and you're gonna start torturing yourself. And in no time, you will start wondering if the ones who told you they loved you, have ever given a damn about you.

Cheers to more bitchy girls who read this. I hope you have a good life. :))

xx,
Bisous bitchus!

Ps. Just in case you read this (oh I'm pretty much sure you do although you might not understand like half of what I talk about here), please do swing by this blog as often as possible. It kinda increases the number of my pageviews. :)) 

Chin Up

"They told me that to make her fall in love, I had to make her laugh. But every time she laughs, I'm the one who falls in love." - Tommaso Ferraris

Have been smiling for quite some time because of this. Thank you for showing me love and kindness, for being so thoughtful teaching me physics (even if you know I'm going to fail), for being so caring and for still being a good friend even when I'm not being one.

This week sucks. Failed physics. Again. Will probably have my hair cut tomorrow to wash away the bad luck. Lol.

This too shall pass.
xx :)

The Fire's Here To Stay

Throwback to the time when Jess and I were always together and went to YC together. Gawd I miss everything. 

After craft-class with her

25/11/11 :)

9/12/11

hehe 8/3/12

5/3/12

Dear E,

Happy birthday! You are now 17! I wish you the very best for everything in the future. I know we haven't been talking for so long. And I know I was such a bitch back then. I'm so sorry if I have wronged you. I didn't mean to do that, you know. I wish you knew how sorry I was and until the moment I'm typing this, I still am. I hope that you had forgiven me for the horrible things I did to you and if you haven't, then I hope you will. I hope you're happy with your new life now! I still remember that time when I was just so afraid of 'the dog' and you, being you, laughed at me. lol I am just so lucky to have the chance to know you. I guess if I could turn back time, I'd be dumb not to go back to the time when all of those stuffs happened.

My current playlist. Check it out (:

You're my fault, my weakness. When did you turn so cold? No one shakes me like you do, my best mistake was you. Bebe Rexha Feat. Cash Cash - Take Me Home

Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. Sara Bareilles - Gravity

When it's all said and done, you can walk instead of run. Cause no matter what you'll never be alone. Lady Antebellum - Compass

Now everything I do is all for loving you, it's not something that we're used to. Calvin Harris Feat. Ayah Marar - Thinking About You

If you live another day in this happy little house, the fire's here to stay. Amanda Seyfried - Little House

I am fire, you're gasoline, come pour yourself all over me. We'll let this place go down in flames only one more time. Zedd Feat. Hayley Williams - Stay The Night

First time I saw you, I knew right away. Made up my mind, you would be mine someday. Timeflies - All The Way

When you give me that thunder, you make my summer rain. Sevyn Streeter Feat. Chris Brown - It Won't Stop

Cause all of me loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges. All your perfect imperfections. John Legend - All Of Me

If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you. Zedd Feat. The Foxes - Clarity

I should be over all the butterflies, but I'm into you. And baby even on our worst nights, I'm into you. Paramore - Still Into You

Till then, fella
xx

Hi. Again.

How silly I was to forget about the actual resolution.
So I guess, this is it

• save up at least half of my salary. I really suck when it comes to money management.
• decide which uni I'll be going to. I've never said this out loud but I'm really worried about my future. I just can't decide anything like what major I'm going to take and whatsoever things. The only thing that I can see is a black hole. So now you see how desperate I am.
• buy more clothes. My wardrobe sucks.
• and books too. If I have the time.
• write down everything in a notebook. I have a lot of notebooks butttt I never have anything to write. 
• I guess study hard should still be on the list.
• stay fit and healthy. I know this is like the lamest resolution ever but I should really take care of myself.
• don't eat too much of anything. Once I ate too much chocolate (on my birthday) and then I got sick 6 hours later.
• try to at least update once in a month. I know I'm going to be very busy but I should really post something. This blog is literally already dead. 
• And most importantly, be nice to everybody. I'll try. :p

That's it I guess for now. Corpus will open in 2 days and school's starting in 4 days. I guess I'd better make the most of tomorrow. Pft.

And yes, I almost forgot, happy birthday Janet!

xxxx

Two-Zero-One-Four

Now hi again.

I know I have abandoned this blog for gawdknowshowlong. Now I know nobody reads this except maybe some of the people who just happen to stumble upon my blog. No worries, I'm here for my new year resolution! But before that:

#np: The Neighbourhood - Sweater Weather
In 2013, did you…
Fall in love with someone that was just a friend?

yea, I guess.

Lose any friends?

nope.
Make any new friends?

a lot, actually.
Make any new enemies?

I hope not.
Do anything you regret?

I don't think so. But yolo, remember? So no regrets.
Go to any parties?

yea, some cool parties.

Make much money?

Not THAT much but for me, it's more than enough although I kinda spent way too much of it.
Attend a wedding?

One or two, I don't remember.
Attend a funeral?

yea, gram's.
Get any new family members?

One or two nieces or nephews.
Get into a verbal fight?

yes, I should admit I was really childish but I'm just gonna put that in the past.
Get into a physical fight?

nooo
Attend any sporting events?

none. I've never really been into sports.
Get arrested?

Do I look like a criminal?
Wreck your car?

um don't have a car.
Make any big purchases?

not really.
Learn anything?

a lot. And I'm not talking about school stuff.
Dump your bf/gf?

no
Get dumped by your bf/gf?

no
Develop any new health problems?

I hope not. I'm not one of those health-freaks but I've been eating healthy (or I guess I had)
Change as a person?

I did. Good and bad.
Get any new piercings?

no, so far I only have ear-piercing.
Get any new tattoos?

noo
Attend a concert?

nope.
Start to resent something or someone that you used to like?

yea, you can say that.

In 2013, how many….
Different places did you work?

Only one.
Times did you go out drinking?

Not even once.

Times did you go to the movies?

A few times but not that many times. Around 5 or 6 times.
People did you make out with?

um none.
People asked you out?

It's been a really um quiet year on that department.

Crushes did you have?

I guess one (?) That was ..... embarrassing. :p

In 2013, what was….
Your favorite day of the year?

Favorite day? I guess my birthday? :p I always love birthdays.
Your favorite band?

A lot actually. But the Script has been on my playlist for like more than a year.
Your least favorite day of the year?

A lot actually. When I had the terrible fever on my birthday. What could be possibly worse than that?
Your favorite movie?

Catching Fire is awesomeeeeee.
Your favorite song of the year?

There were a lottttt. Can't mention it one by one. But right at this moment Counting Stars by OneRepublic!
Something that didn’t change at all this year?

Height, hair style, phone too.
Your favorite holiday?

Summer break. Went to Taiwan with my family and Cindy's family. It was really fun.

Misc. questions about 2013
Were you in a hospital this year?

no.
Were you in an ambulance this year?

nope.
Did you make any big confessions in ‘13?

Nothing big.
What’s the best thing to happen to you this year?

I guess my friends are. :)
Did you vote this year?

Noooo. Hopefully next year. :(
Did you bring sexy back this year?

Nah no :))
Was 2013 a great year, an average year or a bad year?

I think it's been a great year and I still don't want it to end yet.

Looking back to my last year's resolutions:

• study harder <<<< HAHAHA failed successfully. Eleventh grade's materials are hard as shit.
• save up some money ><<< I did try to save since I've started working but you know what happened to me when I saw sth really cute but I still managed to save up a really little amount of money. Well at least I tried. :p
• get a new Minnie Mouse for myself <<<< totally forgot about it until this moment.
• finish reading all the books I bought and borrowed ><<< finished 3 out of 10 :)) I just didn't have THAT much time between studying and teaching. 
• finish watching all my DVDs and tv series >><< good news is that I finished Gossip Girl just in time before new year's eve. :p As for DVDs I'm still trying to finish 'em.
• update this blog more often. <<<< failed this one too successfully. I barely had time to scroll through blogs.
• be productive. >>>> I'm totally productive this year. Student council, prom, teacher's day, A LOT :D:D
• be nice to everyone, literally. >><< can't say I didn't try but some people are just annoying as hell.
• practice guitar! <<<< I barely touched my guitar since May. Let alone practice.
• make something DIY-ed. <<<< except you count our movie project as DIY then I had none.
• decorate my bedroom. <<<< HAH thbis is embarrassing but I'm still sleeping with my mom and that bedroom of mine ( and my sisters') is pretty much not occupied.
• style my hair a little bit differently from last year. <<<< can't risk it :p
• practice my English. >><< my writing still sucks and so does my speaking. But I guess teaching kinda improves my English. 
• grab every chance I have and take risks; cherish every second of my life >><< didn't exactly cherish every second of my life but I am grateful for so many things this year had offered me. :)
• teach at Corpus. >>>< I made it! :) I kinda regret it coz it did affect my studies. But I enjoy it. :D

I'm not gonna make that long speech like I did every year. I'm just gonna sleep. This holiday has been reaaaaally boring. But before that,

* I learn how to drive. Took a five-day driving lesson. Can't say I nailed it. Still need to practice. Like a lot.

* After thinking about it over and over again, I decided to still teach at corpus. Because

* I'm going back to Budy's ifyouknowwhatimean :p But pft I'm gonna need to reschedule everything because of budy's schedule. That sucks.

* Finished GossipGirl, like I said just now. The finale is awesome. <3<3<3

* my report. Is going to be the worst report I'll ever have. I think I failed math. It's terrible.

I really wish this year would be awesome. And please don't disappoint me, 2014! 

See you when I see you.

Much love

xx <3